Midnight vs. Bullets Balow: pt. 2 (Smash Comics #40)

Smash Comics # 40 (February 1943)

Midnight feature (Midnight vs. Bullets Balow)

Last week, we left Midnight having just been knocked loopy by a member of the Land of Flight's non-intimidating royal guard.

Ignoring Velvet's pleas for mercy, two of the oomperials seize our unconscious hero with the intent of lobbing him over the city walls.

Fortunately, when one of them attempts to silence Velvet by declaring, "No one can save him now," the brash claim is overheard by Queen Robustia.

The Queen looks pretty much like what you'd imagine a woman named "Robustia" would. (Also, what's the deal with one unnamed guard having a handgun, while the ruler of the whole city just carries a spiked club?)

We learn that Midnight is not the first man to drop from the sky into the Land of Flight.  (Yep...you know where this is going.)  We learn that Queen Robustia has apparently wed the earlier visitor, and intends to do the same to our hero. (I guess bigamy is not exactly a socio-cultural faux pas in the old Land of Flight.)

Midnight comes to, and the Robustia commences her best school-girl flirtation routine when a shot rings out.  Quite unexpectedly, the large distracted monarch musters up the Spider-Man-like reflexes to anticipate the bullet and shove her newfound boy toy of harm's way!

It comes as little surprise that the mystery shot was fired by the elusive Bullets Balow.   Despite missing, Balow has a good laugh at--one supposes--the indignities he dreams of visiting on our hero.  The royal consort, however, seems not to have cleared this particular plan with Queen Robustia, however.  The o-fficial "Head Mama Jama" purposefully sets out to put Balow in his place.

Apparently, Bullets is the other guy in the Land of Flight allowed to carry a firearm.  I continue to insist that it makes little sense for the woman who's supposedly in-charge to only wield a spiked club, but...then again...maybe that's all she really needs.

Who needs a handgun when you got Mjolnir-lite action like that going on?

After Queen Robustia's rocket-powered club fails to find it's mark, Midnight goes into pursuit of the criminal.  I have no explanation for the next few panels.  It's like the artist and writer: (1) had no idea what Midnight was, or wasn't capable of, and (2) didn't much care to make a gesture towards plausible storytelling.

First, our ostensibly non-superpowered hero--manifests a Cannonball-esque feat of super-speed, then announces that he sees Balow "under the bed."  The only problem, of course, is that Balow is standing behind a curtain. 

I'll give the artist a break on the chair-busting scene.  Maybe he intends to illustrate just how hard-headed Midnight is (i.e., a hard-surfaced chair busts right over his noggin)...but the little marks around his suspiciously undisturbed fedora suggest that we're looking at a chair with a wicker-bottom.  If that's the case, then Balow is simply a moron.

In standard battle banter, we discover that Bullets stumbled across the Land of Flight and sweet talked his way into royal matrimony by calling Robustia beautiful.  Midnight scolds him for leading the woman on.  Cad that he is, Bullets declares that, "Ain't nobody cheatin' me out of my wife's dough!"  (Keep it classy, there, Bullets.)

Midnight announces that he'll be taking the grifter in, at which point Bullets foolish invites him to try.

Because lots of regular boxers can punch a guy and send him flying like a rocket ship...sure.

Any who, Bullets' impending trip into orbit is halted by the proverbial immovable object...in this case, Queen Robustia.

For no particular reason (it seems) the one thing that Queen Robustia apparently can't stand is anyone else being in her bedroom.  It's apparently a big enough deal that she's ready to have both men fried in oil!  (Which, strikes me as a bit of an overreaction.)

Following yet another donnybrook with (presumably) Oompa Loompa guards and the Queen herself,
Midnight and Bullets are bound and headed, it would seem, for the judicial Fry Daddy.

Assuming that what worked once can work again, Bullets begins sweet-talking his homicidal wife, who immediately calls him a "sweet boy" and agrees to untie him.  (Seriously, this lady has some mental health issues.  That's just not normal psychology.)

Meanwhile, Midnight urges Robustia to come close so he can tell her a secret.  (While this is going on, Velvet--literally the other woman in the Land of Flight) slips up behind the man of mystery and unties his bonds.

Midnight tells the Queen that Bullets had only married her for her money (which we know is true) but goes one extra by claiming her "hubby" had called her fat as well.  Naturally, this sends the questionably sane woman into yet another rage. Robustia proceeds to lay an epic beat-down on Bullets.

Simultaneously, in classic last-minute-holy-poop-we've-got-a-deadline fashion, a plaintively love-struck Velvet causally supplies Midnight with a rocket ship to make his escape (because, of course, a civilization where the majority of the guards carry swords would have rocket ships 👌) and makes out with our (apparently irresistible) hero. 

Eventually, of course, Midnight retrieves Bullets and flies back to Big City with his quarry in tow.  As soon as ship lands on earth, however, both it--and the land from whence it came--disappear.

The story ends with Midnight informing Gab and Wackey that a lot of other stuff happening in the Land of Flight, and that he'd like to return to see Velvet.  The final panel breaks the fourth wall by asking the readers if they'd like to see more adventures set there.

(Re)introducing Midnight! (Smash Comics #35)

Smash Comics # 35 (September 1942)

Midnight feature (Who is He?)

art & story by Jack Cole

Midnight passed a milestone in September 1942, when he displaced the Ray as lead feature in Smash Comics.  The meandering, plot-hole ridden story for that issue gives several indications it was intended to introduce Midnight to new readers.  Why Quality Publishing felt the need to do this is not clear.  Midnight was not appearing in a new book, but simply moving places within the same title in which he'd always appeared.  I would've thought most of readers of Smash Comics would've already been familiar with Midnight.

The story begins with a fire engulfing the home of retired circus entertainer, Waldo Whiz.  As firemen rush to the scene, the homeowner leaps from a six story window. Aghast when Whiz seems to plunge through the rescue net, ambulance personnel rush upon him with a stretcher.

Incredibly, Whiz appears to survive the fall without injury! What happens next takes the reader by surprise, as the "emergency responders" encircle Waldo and proceed to violently assault him!

True to his sense of justice and fair play, our hero Midnight plunges into the fray.  Despite his best efforts--and even an assist by Gabby--Midnight gets overwhelmed by his foes' sheer numbers.  Curiously, however, the fight ends not with a clear victory on the part of the "faux firemen," but with everyone in the immediate vicinity suddenly (and inexplicably) bouncing about like rubber balls until they're knocked unconscious.

After the ricocheting ruckus ends, a green car approaches and extends a mechanical arm.  It retrieves the combatants one by one.  Though the operator is unseen at this time, he is evidently the mastermind behind this bizarre turn of events.

Though not really a "plot hole," I think Cole is at least guilty of an "art hole" here. The story is introduced as taking place in the "evening," and the subsequent appearance of the mysterious green car clearly takes place at night.  The above print of the bouncing spectators, however, looks like it's conveying that these events are taking place in the middle of the day.

Hours laters, Midnight awakens--sans mask--in police custody! Immediately he panics because they've seen his face and now know that Midnight is radio announcer Dave Clark.  But would they--really--have known who Midnight was just because they saw his face?  Dave was a radio personality...not a television personality.  If anything, shouldn't Dave's bigger concern have been that someone would recognize his voice?  And if that's the risk, he's been running that one since he first donned the mask. 

As it turns out, though, Dave has nothing to worry about, for in yet another case of lazy deus ex machina maneuvering, the cops explain that Midnight is so beaten up they can't recognize who he is!

Where to start here?  First, these professional investigators are unusually dense if they can't piece together what Dave would normally look like from this "severe" beating.  I've seen guys with black eyes before--even had a few myself.  Yeah...they don't look pretty, but I could still tell who I was.  It's not that hard.  Third, this is just some lazy writing by Cole.  Basically all he's done here is recycle a trope he used back in Smash Comics #22: 

 

untitled Midnight feature, Smash Comics #22

The cops seem to assume that Midnight is responsible for the attack on Whiz.  Fortunately, when the profoundly inept law officers turn their backs, a rope dangles next to Dave's bed (complete with instructions to "Grab") and our hero is whisked to safety by Doc Wackey and Gabby.

Later, back at Doc's secret lab, the trio discuss who the mysterious criminal might be that is capable of producing such strange effects.  Wackey speculates it is his old partner in crime, Professor Porgy.

Wackey's aside is yet another mechanism for introducing Midnight and his entourage to new readers.

We next cut away to a scene with the infamous Prof. Porgy who--as it turns out--is behind the attack and abduction.  Judging from the dialogue between Whiz and Porgy, it seems that the only reason the retired acrobat was targeted in the first place was because Porgy wanted his millions to fund another (as yet unrevealed) enterprise.

Left utterly unexplained is how Porgy was supposed to have known Whiz would leap from his blazing mansion with millions strapped to his chest.  One wonders why--if, in fact, illicit financing is the goal--Porgy didn't send his forces to rob the house, rather than burn it down.  I would expect a supposed scientific "genius" to consider that he was likely immolating as much money as he finally got after all that trouble. 

On another note, is it just me or does Prof. Porgy really come across as a Penguin knock-off?  

Prof. Porgy in Smash Comics #35 (September 1942)

Penguin in Detective Comics # 58 (December 1941)
Source: https://ifanboy.com/articles/oswald-cobblepot-the-penguin/

Meanwhile, nostalgia is in the air as both Wackey and Porgy drop by the old Science and Inventor's Club in search of each another.  Porgy reveals to Doc the specifics of his latest plan (a plan to which, the reader is still not privy) and asks Wackey to join him in the endeavor.  

Having been morally transformed into a fine upstanding citizen through his affiliation with Team Midnight, Wackey refuses and pronounces Porgy's scheme, "idiotic, impossible, and insane!"

In the attempt to persuade Wackey, Porgy reveals the cause of the mysterious bouncing phenomena--the "electron director."

The eagle-eyed reader may note a suspicious similarity between the "random" dog Porgy demonstrates his device upon, and the dog into which Midnight was transformed by his old nemesis Chango back in Smash Comics #29

Smash Comics #35

Smash Comics #29

"What's going on here?" you ask.  Your guess is as good as mine.  Maybe Jack Cole just really enjoyed drawing blue dogs.  (Maybe he was a Democrat?)

Anyhoo, upon this definitive revelation that Porgy was behind the evening's events, Doc displays a rare bit of machismo by socking Porgy cold and heading off to call the cops.

Unfortunately, Doc's fists don't pack quite the same wallop as Midnight's.  Porgy regains consciousness, realizes what's happened, and releases his "mechanical bloodhound" (which, honestly, looks like a vacuum cleaner with a funnel on the front of it) to track Doc down.

Despite Wackey's head start, wouldn't you know it--the robotic rover locates him just as he's about to reveal Porgy's location to the police and spears our lovable inventor in the calf injecting him with a strange personality-altering serum.  This (somewhat inexplicably) causes Doc to revert to his criminal anti-cop self. 

I don't know about you, dear reader, but I like the spiraling faces effect Cole used to illustrate Wackey's transformation.  Though, I've not read a whole lot of Golden Age comics, this is one more little detail that (I think) demonstrates how Cole's work was above and beyond the average.

His affections now altered, Wackey tracks Porgy down at the latter's mountain retreat (and, apparently, private observatory?) where the reader is finally let in on Porgy's ultimate plan. He has discovered a planet composed entirely of gold, and plans to use the money stolen from Whiz to construct a rocket, travel to the planet, mine it, and return to earth a billionaire!  Remember, dear reader, it was 1942 and the government hadn't yet dreamed of the levels of monetary inflation we see today.  Though the status was (and sometimes continues) to be claimed for John D. Rockefeller, otherwise there had never been a "billionaire" before!  In that light, you see how "over-the-top" Porgy's potential wealth would've been.

When it's finally completed, the ship looks like virtually every illustration I've ever seen of Jules Verne's (largely forgotten tale), From the Earth to the Moon.

Much like in Verne's tale, the final landing of Porgy's space shuttle seems destined to leave he and his entourage in quite the cosmic pickle

Even allowing for the fact that no one had ever traveled outside of Earth's atmosphere at this time, I'm still dumbfounded that neither Verne, nor Cole seemed to have thought about how their literary space-farers would actually return to Earth.  Let's be honest, Porgy's "ship" is essentially a giant bullet with people inside it.  How exactly did he think he was going to excavate the ship, make necessary repairs ('cause I ain't believin' it came out of that crater without some serious dents) and propel the thing back to Earth.  (Remember, he's supposedly landed on a planet made of "solid gold" so there's not going to be any rocket fuel or anything on hand.  Perhaps it was just these sorts of concerns (or a looming deadline) that prompted Cole to go in full deus ex machina mode again in an effort to tie everything up on the final page.

Virtually simultaneous to landing, the effects of the drug given Wackey wear off, and Doc is outraged by what he's been manipulated into doing.  

As it turns out, Porgy's ire soon rises as well.  Upon exiting the craft he spies not a glittering landscape of gold, but merely sand!  Porgy immediately announces they've landed on the wrong planet due to Wackey's calculations. Ummm...excuse me, Your Portliness, but aren't you supposed to be a scientific genius yourself?  Wasn't this supposedly a "team effort"?  I guess maybe Porgy is scared that his henchmen are going to get real non-compliant when they realize there's no riches and no return home, so he's basically trying to turn Wackey into the Jerry Gergich of this story.

The Porgster orders his thugs to kill (the scapegoat) Wackey, and they dutifully proceed to answer the call.  Wackey melodramatically cries out, "If only Midnight were here!"

And lo! and behold!

Midnight proceeds to save Wackey via his signature boxing lessons. When Doc asks how Midnight was able to find him, our hero explains, "You left your wrist radio on, so we came in on the beam!" (Admittedly, I really don't know what that last clause means.  Is Midnight just saying that they followed Wackey's signal, or is he saying that he and Gabby traveled on an actual beam of some sort--like the Star Trek teleporters?!)

Aside from the question of what "coming in on the beam" means, the keen reader will (reasonably) wonder, "How, exactly, did a talking monkey and a masked radio show host manage interstellar pursuit without the aid of their world-class scientist?"

When Wackey protests the reality of his deliverance by insisting, "You couldn't have followed us to this foreign planet!," Midnight nonchalantly explains:

And THAT, kids, is how you wildly grasp at literary straws to get yourself out of a writing bind in a single page!





























Pick up here

What was Jack Cole smoking? : Midnight in Smash Comics #28

The Midnight story for Smash Comics # 28 begins with our hero intercepting a gang of bank robbers.  Actually, he was waiting on the roof of the very institution they robbed.  Suctioning them one by one with the vacuum gun as they make their exit, Gabby dispatches each one with a 2x4 as Midnight reels them in.

With all but one of the thugs knocked unconscious the reader is prepared for a two page story.  At the last moment, however, the lone remaining bad guy hurls a vial of nitro at a water tank, flooding the roof and reviving his buddies.

In the chaos the criminals flee to a getaway car on the street. Initially, I thought this bio-mechanically awkward panel depicting Midnight  entering his own convertible was going to be the weirdest of the comic...

but I was wrong...soooooooo very wrong.

After pursuing the baddies out of the city, the heroes are shocked when their quarry ditch the Duesenberg for a boat.  Yes, a boat in the middle of the woods!  Oh, but it gets better friends.  I'll let Midnight explain it to you:

Our intrepid heroes track the bad guys to an abandoned castle. While seeking access they are captured.  An unnamed (but freakish-looking) leader announces that the bank job was merely a ruse to trap Midnight so he could not interfere with the "great things" planned for the gang's future.

Seriously, what's going on here?  Is this supposed to be some sort of anti-Japanese caricature; or is it just a case of terrible artwork?

After bragging about the inescapable nature of his trap, the chief felon despatches his underlings to seize "every dollar" in Big City.  Adding insult to injury, he announces he'll be keeping Gabby as his own personal pet.

The justice monkey, however, isn't going to take this lying down.  When the crime boss tries to buy Gabby's loyalty with an orange, the littlest crime fighter hurls it right back in his face.  In his anger, the thug tries to hit Gab with his "liquefying ray," but manages only to hit the chain he'd been using to restrain Gabby.  After a clumsy lunge at Gabby, the bad guy plummets out a window and into the castle's moat of electric eels, thus bringing his role in the story to a sudden end.

The furry sentinel grabs the hand-held ray and scours the castle for Midnight. Upon freeing him, Gabby relates the scoundrels' plan and the two head off to save Big City from a fleecing.  

Meanwhile, the liquefying ray is being used to great effect on both animate and inanimate targets.  

When Midnight and Gabby catch up to the land-faring pirates, stopping them is literally as simple as Gabby flashing their boat with the hand-held liquefying ray--which for reasons utterly unexplained causes the land-boat to explode, rather than liquefy?!

Yep.  The question marks from Gabby and Midnight pretty much say it all.  I'm guessing Cole must've been really busy and up against a hard deadline on this one.  The only adjective that seems appropriate to describe this deus ex machina ending is "craptastic."

Midnight vs. Liver Lip McGaw

Smash Comics #25 saw Midnight taking on a terroristic thug named Liver Lip McGaw.  The story begins with Liver Lip running an extortion racket.  When one of his underlings fails to intimidate the Acme Motor Company, McGaw shoots the man in a rage.

Taking matters into his own hands, Liver Lip begins "visiting" Acme employees, threatening their wives and children unless the men agree to sabotage the company under his orders.  

Meanwhile Doc Wackey and Gabby are testing another new invention--the "visoscope" which enables them to "see everything that goes on in the city." They tune in to Acme just in time to witness the sabotage.  Immediately, Wackey informs Dave Clark, while Gabby shuttles off to try and be of some assistance until Midnight's arrival.

When Midnight gets there a brief scuffle ensues before he and Gabby subdue the conscripted saboteurs.  What doesn't make a lot of sense, however, is the reaction of the Acme employees.  When Midnight initially asks the men, "What's your game?" He's greeted with a stone-cold refusal to talk.  Okay.  I guess that makes sense.  The guys are still worried about their wives and children, right?  They don't want to turn on Liver Lip because they're afraid he'll retaliate against their loved ones.  

But, literally moments later, when Midnight (essentially) says, "Okay.  Whatevs...Off to jail with you." They all immediately fall apart like wet tissue paper, begging "No! Not that!"  What gives here?  Have they suddenly lost concern for their families, or are these guys so self-centered that they wouldn't even do a little jail time to protect their wives and children?

After hearing the men's stories, Midnight sends them home. Courtesy of the visoscope, Midnight learns that Liver Lip is watching a cock fight at the Hamilton Sport Club, and our hero is off to dispense a righteous beat-down.

Upon Midnight's arrival the donnybrook breaks out, and the predictably dirty Liver Lip manages to shank Midnight in the shoulder. 

Having pinned Midnight to the wall with his dagger, Liver Lip produces a battle axe from somewhere I guess it's hanging on the wall of the Sport Club? and prepares to deliver the coup de grace.  

However, at just that moment, one of the other people in the club informs Liver Lip that, "The cops have been tipped off! They've surrounded the building!We're trapped!"  

More desirous of avoiding arrest than he is of ending Midnight, Liver Lip decides to flee.  For reasons no one can possibly fathom, the bad guy decides his best bet is to put on some stolen skis and sail down an exterior staircase while swinging his axe at the cops to clear his path. 

Okay...so...even if all the simple act of skiing down stairs was pulled off without any hitch (already a wildly implausible scenario) just exactly how did Liver Lip see the rest of this playing out?  First, he has an axe.  The cops have guns.  There seems to be a pretty obvious weaponry advantage. Second, even if he makes it to the bottom of the stairs and isn't immediately rushed by the cops who have the Sport Club "surrounded" what comes next?  Is he going to run away while wearing skis?  Is he supposed to ski off on a level surface of asphalt with not even a set of ski poles?  

Overall, it's impossible not to think this is a story where Jack Cole just ran out of time and threw something together to meet a deadline.

Cole tries to resolve the story with yet another deus ex machina.  This time, as Liver Lip is skiing down the stairs (the preceding is a phrase that I, literally, never would've anticipated having to write at any time in my life...ever), Midnight nails him with the vacuum gun, throwing the villain off-balance, causing him to lose the axe and pitch forward down the stairs.  Cole's artwork makes clear that Liver Lip landed on the upturned blade of the axe, presumably decapitating him (if the reactions of the surrounding police officers are any indication). 

While there is a certain primal satisfaction in watching a scoundrel like Liver Lip "reap what he has sown," the details of this story are bit more disturbing than what we have seen to this point. Dobbs (Smash Comics #19) dies in a fire of his own creation.  Midnight knows nothing of it.  Similarly, in Smash Comics #21, Julie the Jerk meets his end when he loses his footing while attempting to flee and is impaled on a church steeple.  Again, Midnight had no active hand in his death.  Yet here, it is Midnight's vacuum gun that causes Liver Lip to lose his balance.  Perhaps even more disturbing, given that this is a tool that allows Midnight to swing from building to building--and that has even maintained suction to a speeding motor boat--wouldn't it be reasonable to expect that the retraction on the vacuum gun would've pulled Liver Lip back before he landed on the axe?  

What is the reader to make of this?  Did Midnight know what he was doing...and what its outcome would be?  Is the hero of Big City now to act as judge, jury, and executioner?