Smash Comics # 40 (February 1943)
Midnight feature (Midnight vs. Bullets Balow)
Last week, we left Midnight having just been knocked loopy by a member of the Land of Flight's non-intimidating royal guard.
Ignoring Velvet's pleas for mercy, two of the oomperials seize our unconscious hero with the intent of lobbing him over the city walls.
Fortunately, when one of them attempts to silence Velvet by declaring, "No one can save him now," the brash claim is overheard by Queen Robustia.
We learn that Midnight is not the first man to drop from the sky into the Land of Flight. (Yep...you know where this is going.) We learn that Queen Robustia has apparently wed the earlier visitor, and intends to do the same to our hero. (I guess bigamy is not exactly a socio-cultural faux pas in the old Land of Flight.)
Midnight comes to, and the Robustia commences her best school-girl flirtation routine when a shot rings out. Quite unexpectedly, the large distracted monarch musters up the Spider-Man-like reflexes to anticipate the bullet and shove her newfound boy toy of harm's way!
It comes as little surprise that the mystery shot was fired by the elusive Bullets Balow. Despite missing, Balow has a good laugh at--one supposes--the indignities he dreams of visiting on our hero. The royal consort, however, seems not to have cleared this particular plan with Queen Robustia, however. The o-fficial "Head Mama Jama" purposefully sets out to put Balow in his place.
Apparently, Bullets is the other guy in the Land of Flight allowed to carry a firearm. I continue to insist that it makes little sense for the woman who's supposedly in-charge to only wield a spiked club, but...then again...maybe that's all she really needs.
After Queen Robustia's rocket-powered club fails to find it's mark, Midnight goes into pursuit of the criminal. I have no explanation for the next few panels. It's like the artist and writer: (1) had no idea what Midnight was, or wasn't capable of, and (2) didn't much care to make a gesture towards plausible storytelling.
First, our ostensibly non-superpowered hero--manifests a Cannonball-esque feat of super-speed, then announces that he sees Balow "under the bed." The only problem, of course, is that Balow is standing behind a curtain.
In standard battle banter, we discover that Bullets stumbled across the Land of Flight and sweet talked his way into royal matrimony by calling Robustia beautiful. Midnight scolds him for leading the woman on. Cad that he is, Bullets declares that, "Ain't nobody cheatin' me out of my wife's dough!" (Keep it classy, there, Bullets.)
Midnight announces that he'll be taking the grifter in, at which point Bullets foolish invites him to try.
Any who, Bullets' impending trip into orbit is halted by the proverbial immovable object...in this case, Queen Robustia.
For no particular reason (it seems) the one thing that Queen Robustia apparently can't stand is anyone else being in her bedroom. It's apparently a big enough deal that she's ready to have both men fried in oil! (Which, strikes me as a bit of an overreaction.)
Following yet another donnybrook with (presumably) Oompa Loompa guards and the Queen herself,
Midnight and Bullets are bound and headed, it would seem, for the judicial Fry Daddy.
Assuming that what worked once can work again, Bullets begins sweet-talking his homicidal wife, who immediately calls him a "sweet boy" and agrees to untie him. (Seriously, this lady has some mental health issues. That's just not normal psychology.)
Meanwhile, Midnight urges Robustia to come close so he can tell her a secret. (While this is going on, Velvet--literally the other woman in the Land of Flight) slips up behind the man of mystery and unties his bonds.
Midnight tells the Queen that Bullets had only married her for her money (which we know is true) but goes one extra by claiming her "hubby" had called her fat as well. Naturally, this sends the questionably sane woman into yet another rage. Robustia proceeds to lay an epic beat-down on Bullets.
Simultaneously, in classic last-minute-holy-poop-we've-got-a-deadline fashion, a plaintively love-struck Velvet causally supplies Midnight with a rocket ship to make his escape (because, of course, a civilization where the majority of the guards carry swords would have rocket ships 👌) and makes out with our (apparently irresistible) hero.
Eventually, of course, Midnight retrieves Bullets and flies back to Big City with his quarry in tow. As soon as ship lands on earth, however, both it--and the land from whence it came--disappear.
The story ends with Midnight informing Gab and Wackey that a lot of other stuff happening in the Land of Flight, and that he'd like to return to see Velvet. The final panel breaks the fourth wall by asking the readers if they'd like to see more adventures set there.
Ignoring Velvet's pleas for mercy, two of the oomperials seize our unconscious hero with the intent of lobbing him over the city walls.
Fortunately, when one of them attempts to silence Velvet by declaring, "No one can save him now," the brash claim is overheard by Queen Robustia.
 |
| The Queen looks pretty much like what you'd imagine a woman named "Robustia" would. (Also, what's the deal with one unnamed guard having a handgun, while the ruler of the whole city just carries a spiked club?) |
We learn that Midnight is not the first man to drop from the sky into the Land of Flight. (Yep...you know where this is going.) We learn that Queen Robustia has apparently wed the earlier visitor, and intends to do the same to our hero. (I guess bigamy is not exactly a socio-cultural faux pas in the old Land of Flight.)
Midnight comes to, and the Robustia commences her best school-girl flirtation routine when a shot rings out. Quite unexpectedly, the large distracted monarch musters up the Spider-Man-like reflexes to anticipate the bullet and shove her newfound boy toy of harm's way!
It comes as little surprise that the mystery shot was fired by the elusive Bullets Balow. Despite missing, Balow has a good laugh at--one supposes--the indignities he dreams of visiting on our hero. The royal consort, however, seems not to have cleared this particular plan with Queen Robustia, however. The o-fficial "Head Mama Jama" purposefully sets out to put Balow in his place.
Apparently, Bullets is the other guy in the Land of Flight allowed to carry a firearm. I continue to insist that it makes little sense for the woman who's supposedly in-charge to only wield a spiked club, but...then again...maybe that's all she really needs.
 |
| Who needs a handgun when you got Mjolnir-lite action like that going on? |
After Queen Robustia's rocket-powered club fails to find it's mark, Midnight goes into pursuit of the criminal. I have no explanation for the next few panels. It's like the artist and writer: (1) had no idea what Midnight was, or wasn't capable of, and (2) didn't much care to make a gesture towards plausible storytelling.
First, our ostensibly non-superpowered hero--manifests a Cannonball-esque feat of super-speed, then announces that he sees Balow "under the bed." The only problem, of course, is that Balow is standing behind a curtain.
 |
| I'll give the artist a break on the chair-busting scene. Maybe he intends to illustrate just how hard-headed Midnight is (i.e., a hard-surfaced chair busts right over his noggin)...but the little marks around his suspiciously undisturbed fedora suggest that we're looking at a chair with a wicker-bottom. If that's the case, then Balow is simply a moron. |
In standard battle banter, we discover that Bullets stumbled across the Land of Flight and sweet talked his way into royal matrimony by calling Robustia beautiful. Midnight scolds him for leading the woman on. Cad that he is, Bullets declares that, "Ain't nobody cheatin' me out of my wife's dough!" (Keep it classy, there, Bullets.)
Midnight announces that he'll be taking the grifter in, at which point Bullets foolish invites him to try.
 |
| Because lots of regular boxers can punch a guy and send him flying like a rocket ship...sure. |
For no particular reason (it seems) the one thing that Queen Robustia apparently can't stand is anyone else being in her bedroom. It's apparently a big enough deal that she's ready to have both men fried in oil! (Which, strikes me as a bit of an overreaction.)
Following yet another donnybrook with (presumably) Oompa Loompa guards and the Queen herself,
Midnight and Bullets are bound and headed, it would seem, for the judicial Fry Daddy.
Assuming that what worked once can work again, Bullets begins sweet-talking his homicidal wife, who immediately calls him a "sweet boy" and agrees to untie him. (Seriously, this lady has some mental health issues. That's just not normal psychology.)
Meanwhile, Midnight urges Robustia to come close so he can tell her a secret. (While this is going on, Velvet--literally the other woman in the Land of Flight) slips up behind the man of mystery and unties his bonds.
Midnight tells the Queen that Bullets had only married her for her money (which we know is true) but goes one extra by claiming her "hubby" had called her fat as well. Naturally, this sends the questionably sane woman into yet another rage. Robustia proceeds to lay an epic beat-down on Bullets.
Simultaneously, in classic last-minute-holy-poop-we've-got-a-deadline fashion, a plaintively love-struck Velvet causally supplies Midnight with a rocket ship to make his escape (because, of course, a civilization where the majority of the guards carry swords would have rocket ships 👌) and makes out with our (apparently irresistible) hero.
Eventually, of course, Midnight retrieves Bullets and flies back to Big City with his quarry in tow. As soon as ship lands on earth, however, both it--and the land from whence it came--disappear.
The story ends with Midnight informing Gab and Wackey that a lot of other stuff happening in the Land of Flight, and that he'd like to return to see Velvet. The final panel breaks the fourth wall by asking the readers if they'd like to see more adventures set there.
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