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Leir the Lady's Man: (Marvel) part 6


The Mighty Thor #417 (MAY 1990)

The sixth appearance of everybody's favorite lightning slinging Celt, is in a back-up story from The Mighty Thor #417.  (For Leir's previous appearances, see here)

At this time, Asgard was adrift in the Negative Zone, consequently obstructing passage from Asgard to Midgard (i.e., the realm of Earth).  In the Golden Realm, the Lady Sif pines away for her beloved Thor (who is on the other side of this dimensional barrier).

In Avalon, the Celtic gods have learned of the Asgardians' inter-dimensional wanderings; and the reader learns that Leir has, "fallen (swollen) head over heels" for Sif.  Somehow or other, the Tuatha de Danaan open a portal to Asgard, which Leir promptly charges through in order to claim his "chosen" wife.

I'm curious how that was pulled off.  If Asgard is inaccessible from earth, I would've expected it to be cut off from Avalon as well.  Maybe Dagda is way more powerful than I realize.

Leir shows up outside Sif's chambers, pompously announcing the great honor and joy she ought to feel at having been "chosen" to be his bride.



While Leir's busy with Sif, Caber (who, like any good wingman, has followed his buddy through the portal in the vain attempt to keep him out of trouble) has gotten into a stand-off with the Warriors Three.  The only thing that saves the fleet-footed Celt is the timely arrival of the now-happily(?) engaged couple!








Two Crime Kings Walk Into a Bar...


Midnight Meets Hammer-Head Horgan & Smear-Face Schmalz
Smash Comics #54 (AUG 1944)
Despite the image of the first page, this story really feature two conflicts: (1) that between Hammer-Head and Smear-Face, and (2) the long-standing one between Midnight and Sniffer Snoop.

Gustavson begins the story by introducing us to the feuding underworld personalities of Hammer-Head and Smear-Face.  When the two accidentally bump into one another on their birthdays, the weapons come out and the gangland fighting begins.

If this is how Smear Face carries his shotgun, I think natural selection may solve Hammer-Head's problem for him.
As fortune would have it, Dave Clark is working in a nearby radio station.  Doc Wackey and Gabby come bursting in to inform their pal that the two gangsters are having a shoot-out on the street.

Dave immediately charges toward the danger, changing into his Midnight costume (which apparently now involves nothing more than putting on the domino mask) en route.  When his pals are reticent to jump in the middle of a gun fight, Dave explains there's nothing to be afraid of once the bad guys notice them, as neither Smear-Face nor Hammer-Head ever manage to hit who they're shooting at. 

That's quite a kick for a "non-powered" hero.  If a man's back strikes a telephone pole with enough force to snap it in two, wouldn't you think he die from massive thoracic injuries?
Though he's successful at breaking up the street fight, in the hub-bub, Smear-Face and Hammer-Head slip away.  After hiding out in the same nearby building, the gang leaders realize they share the same birthday and decide to bury the hatchet. (Because...it was the Golden Age? 😕)

Meanwhile, back on the corner of First and Main, Midnight and pals are cursing their luck.

When you use comics to teach obscure anatomy...
During the impromptu after-action report, Midnight and Sniffer renew their feud over the best method of fighting crime.  Sniffer insists that Midnight has failed to capture the criminals because he tries to solve everything with fists instead of brains.  Midnight counters that the fists are essential.  Eventually, Sniffer makes a $20 wager that he can catch Smear-Face and Hammer-Head--using nothing but his own cleverness--before Midnight does!

Walking away, Sniffer appears to be suffering pretty serious gambler's remorse.   Fortune smiles on the deer-stalkered detective, however, when he bumbles across the drunken twosome in a nearby dive.

Despite being three sheets to the wind, the tyrannous twosome recognize Sniffer as, "da li'l rat da worksh wish Midnight." Though it takes some doing, Sniffer eventually persuades Hammer-Head and Smear-Face they've confused him with his identical twin who's turned honest. Their murderous attentions deflected away from Sniffer, the two quickly resume a heated debate over who is the true "mashtermind" of Big City criminality.   

In the effort to win his bet, Sniffer convinces the two that rather than fight each other, they simply agree that whoever knocks off Midnight first is the true King of Crime.  To ensure that there's no after-the-fact challenges to the new nefarious nobility, Sniffer proposes that both gangsters write out a complete list of their crimes which will then be deposited with Sniffer for safe-keeping until after Midnight's out of the picture.

This seems comical right up until the moment, Sniffer decides to just leave Midnight in the dark for a few days about the fact that he's encouraged a couple of murderous low-lifes to specifically target Big City's premiere masked hero!

Fortunately for Dave Clark, with the light of dawn comes the retreat of the pink elephants.  Hammer-Head and Smear-Face wake up, realize they've been had, and decide to join forces to get Sniffer...and to retrieve their signed confessions.

Now if Hammer-Head can figure that Sniffer works with Midnight...
and Sniffer also is liable to be hanging out with Dave Clark...
now what could be the secret identity of Midnight?

Thinking he's about to enjoy a day of watching Midnight run himself ragged, Sniffer decides to hide the signed confessions at the house before heading out.  A suspicious Gabby, however, has been spying on Sniffer and once the latter leaves, our favorite talking monkey discovers the confessions.

Seemingly, no sooner does Sniffer turn a corner on the side-walk than he's running for his life from Hammer-Head and Smear-Face.  Back at the house, Sniffer finds Dave Clark relaxing in his arm chair in full Midnight attire (because...isn't that what every superhero does during his/her down-time?) Claiming to have been shot, he begs Dave to save him from the gangsters.When the bad guys enter the room, Midnight and Gabby commence their obligatory pummeling, while Sniffer rolls around on the floor seemingly convinced he's near death!

Once the thugs are subdued, an oddly high-looking Sniffer announces that he's won the competition.
This panel really makes you wonder how he got the name "Sniffer".
After producing an envelope that is supposed to contain the signed confessions.  (The careful reader will note we got a serious plot hole here as the confessions were supposedly left under a pillow.)

PLOT HOLE ALERT!

Once this particular shark is jumped, I guess Gustavson didn't feel any particular need to have a consistent narrative.  Midnight bursts into hysterical laughter because the "confessions" are all blank.  (Okay...but didn't we see writing on the sheets on previous pages?)

I guess you could argue Gabby swapped the real confessions for blank paper,
but the story never actually depicts or reports that.  Furthermore, it's never
explained why Sniffer would produce "confessions" from his jacket that he
supposedly left underneath a pillow?!
While the house-call doctor removes bucket-shot from Sniffer's rear (Whaddaya know?!  I guess Sniffer really did get shot!) Midnight informs the self-appointed world's greatest detective that his uncorroborated confessions would never have held up in court anyway.  In contrast, the slugs being pulled out of his bum at the moment would make their guns and would therefore constitute evidence of attempted murder!  And so, in nice Golden Age fashion, we have the following tri panel wrap-up:




Leir (Marvel): part 5

Marvel Comics Presents #30 (OCT 1989)
The fifth appearance of Marvel's Leir (lord of lightning and god of the spear!!) was an odd-little tale in the monthly anthology, Marvel Comics Presents.  Like many MCP stories, this one felt like a throw-back to the old standalone Golden Age tales.  It takes up a mere 8 pages...and by the time you finish it, you may wonder why those 8 were so utilized.

As the above splash page depicts, the story launches with Leir fighting a monster.  When the monster mysteriously disappears just before Leir can destroy it (essentially rehashing Leir's introduction to the Marvel universe), our hero is fuming.  This is despite the best attempts of Dagda (leader of the Celtic gods) to congratulate him on a job well done.

Dagda explains that the creature was sent by the Fomorians, ancient enemies of the Celts.  It's not explained why Dagda shares this information.  One might assume it's because he wants to support Leir's desire for vengeance.  However, when Leir (accompanied by Caber) travels to the realm of the Fomorians and is on the verge of victory, he is driven back--by Dagda!?!



Leir's question is perfectly valid.  I've got a follow-up: 
Does Dagda have a split personality...or does he just enjoy jerking Leir around?

In the words of SuperMegaMonkey, "that, without a doubt, was a story that lasted eight pages."




Midnight vs. the Deadly Damsel Darla Dee -- Smash Comics #53 (MAY 1944)

Well...that's not something you expect to hear Midnight saying!
Smash Comics #53 (MAY 1944)
Smash Comics #53 introduced the most-intriguing antagonist Midnight has faced to this point (at least in my opinion).  The tale begins with Dave Clark and his buddies after a hard day at work.  When they get to the apartment, they're shocked to find a beautiful brunette calling herself Darla  lounging in the living room.

Contrary to what Gab, Wackey, and Sniffer assume, however...Dave's never met this femme fatale.  Announcing she's going to "take over this town," and Darla demands Dave reveal the secret identity of Midnight (presumably so that her henchmen can bump him off).

I found Darla's ease and willingness to use sudden violence on her own minion a very
Joker-esque quality.  This, combined with her beauty, makes her quite an unusual
and striking villain for Midnight.
After bandaging his impaled mano, Moxie puts on a little show for some beat cops.  He spins a tale of being attacked by the murderous Dave Clark.  Assuming Moxie is sauced, the officers tell him to go sleep it off.  The tragically naive Moxie ambles back to Darla's hideout to report that he's carried out her orders...though the police didn't believe him.

The cold-blooded vixen reassures him that's nothing to worry about.  Whereupon, another henchman knifes Moxie to death.  The gang then leaves the corpse with a message--written in their victim's blood--fingering Dave as the murderer.  Darla then calls the cops, who burst into Dave's bedroom to arrest him!

Sniffer, Wackey, and Gabby visit Dave in jail and vow to "tear the town apart" digging up evidence of his innocence.  Dave thanks them, and wonders why Moxie would've fingered him as he barely knew the guy.  Darla sashays in announcing that she can explain that.  She repeats her demand that Dave reveal Midnight's identity, and in exchange she'll, "get this frame-up broken."  Of course, our hero replies, "I wouldn't even tell you the time, baby!"  She retorts that Dave's friends better get busy if they plan on proving his innocence, as she's already sweet-talked the judge into moving the trial up.  It will commence on the morrow!

In what has got to be a record miscarriage of justice effected by sex appeal and sympathy, the jury returns a guilty verdict in two minutes, 15 seconds.  Dave is sentenced to the chair...or noose...or firing squad. (The newspaper headline is a bit confused).  Despondent, his pals decide that just because Dave's locked up that's no reason Midnight should be.  Each in turn, Gabby, Sniffer, and Doc don domino masks and fedoras and set out about the town to right wrongs and clear Dave's name.

Meanwhile, in the jail, Dave is making a bold play of his own.  A passing guard is shocked to find his prisoner an apparent victim of suicide.  When he enters the cell to check the "corpse," however, our hero springs the trap seizing his jailer in a scissors lock, knocking him unconscious, and escaping by wearing the jailer's uniform.

Once outside, Dave changes back into his Midnight outfit (no explanation on where he had that stashed), hops into a car (even less explanation of how that came to be),  and drives off to Darla's home.


Can you imagine the outcry if the heroes in modern comics went around
addressing--even the bad girls--as "baby"?  Talk about a different time!

Despite Midnight's forethought, the good intentions of his fellows threaten to scuttle his trap.  Each has independently broken into Darla's home searching for evidence, and while bumbling around they come across the dictaphone.  Thinking it's a bomb due to the mere fact that it's making, "a funny sound," they toss it out the nearest window.  (Seriously?  Nobody bothers to question why this criminal mastermind would want to blow herself up?) 

Having destroyed their pal's only hope to get a recorded confession, the terrible trio spot Dave from behind and conclude (apparently without bothering to eavesdrop on any of his conversation with Darla) that this must be, "an imposter [Darla's] gonna send out to commit crimes!"  Thus, in order to defend their pal's honor...they bum rush him.  In the midst of the scuffle, Darla decides flee.  Fortunately, Gabby both: (A) realizes the Midnight he's attacking is the real Midnight, and (B) spots Darla in time to tackle her before she makes it out the door.

In one of the best final-page-wrap-ups I've read in the Midnight corpus, our hero bluffs Darla into confessing, by convincing her that there's "no way" she'll beat the rap for five crimes...but if she confesses just enough to clear Dave Clark, Midnight will destroy the evidence on her remaining crimes.  



Honestly, though, if Darla is as savvy as the rest of the story has presented her, you'd think
she might be a little suspicious of this deal.  After all, why would Midnight need her
confession if he already had it on tape?