Smash Comics # 45 (August 1943)
Murder Isn't Any Joke! [title supplied]
The story begins with bankrupt socialite J.T. Horgan calling up one friend after another asking for a loan. As it just so happens, one of his acquaintances is our own Doc Wackey. Unfortunately (and unsurprisingly) Doc can only scrounge up about twelve cents. Needless to say, this is much less than the good Mr. Horgan needs.
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| Bet Doc's wishing he hadn't given away the patent on that atom reviser now |
Amply demonstrating why he has come to his present financial state, Horgan concludes that since he's headed to the poor house, he should "throw one last bang up party...for my fairweather friends."
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| Golly. D'ya think the bald accountant's comments might be foreshadowing? |
When Horgan sends out the RSVPs to his bankruptcy, one finds its way into the hands of Doc Wackey. (Of course, not attempt is made to explain why Horgan has apparently failed to invite his "old friend" to any of the numerous parties he previously threw at Crazy Meadows...I guess we're just supposed to accept that this is one of the things one does when facing financial insolvency. On the other hand, maybe Horgan simply knew his Bible and had taken to heart the Parable of the Dishonest Manager.)
Though excited to receive the invitation, Wackey is initially reticent about attending on account of his dearth of appropriate attire. Sniffer offers to let the Doc borrow an old dress suit, with the proviso that he and Hotfoot be allowed to tag along. (Again, nary a thought is given to explaining: (A) why it should be assumed that an invited party guest is free to extend his own invitations to whomever he will, and (B) why, if particular attire is required for Wackey, anyone would assume that Sniffer Snoop wouldn't be subject to the same wardrobe triage.)
Dave gets wind of these plans and decides to invite himself--or rather, he decides that Midnight "ought to be able to attend the party without an invitation.") Whoa. Somebody's ego is growing faster than Horgan's creditor list.
When Gabby, Doc, Sniffer, and Hotfoot arrive at Crazy Meadows, they're greeted by a bat-swinging doorman who looks for all the world like he's trying to take someone's head off! Of course Wackey and company don't take this lying down. Fortunately for the kid, before they can really get to pummeling, Horgan intervenes and explains that this was "one of the eccentric welcomes we extend to guests at Crazy Meadows." Satisfied with that explanation, Wackey lets Horgan lead him off to the "Prussic Acid bar" for a quick drink.
Apparently, this is was to be yet another "shock value" feature of the Crazy Meadows soiree. Things get all too real, however, when one Bill Thompson orders a straight...and then promptly clutches his stomach and collapses dead!
Due--I'm supposing--to concern that the high drama of this moment would be too heavy for kids, Midnight is suddenly reintroduced to the narrative by way of an insanely-stupid camouflage gag.
After an implausibly simple answer to Wackey's question, Midnight sniffs the interior of Thompson's flute and pronounces it formerly contained genuine Prussic Acid. As our hero begins interrogating Horgan, Sniffer Snoop--naturally--skips straight to the accusation phase.
Meanwhile another guest, John Henry retreats from the ghastly scene with his starlet companion into a nearby room made up to look like a medieval torture chamber. Apparently having learned nothing from the events of the last five minutes, Henry insists on placing himself on the rack for "a little stretching exercise," when--of course--he too dies horribly.
Sniffer reiterates his charge that Horgan has masterminded these murders with the evening's party as an elaborate ruse. For his part, Midnight is beginning to think Sniffer could be right this time.
Midnight begins to question Horgan himself about his involvement in the homicides, when a secret passageway silently opens and Sniffer is hauled into its recesses by a gloved hand.
Horgan's accountant, Fenley, fortuitously arrives back on the scene just in time to add his weight to the accusation against Horgan. This prompts his soon-to-be-erstwhile employer to turn the charge right back on his traitorous bean-counter, and middle-aged fisticuffs ensue.
Midnight steps in to break up the Clash-of-the-Middle-Aged-Body-Types. Meanwhile, Wackey notices Sniffer's gone missing.
When he notices that Hotfoot is sniffing and scratching against a seemingly-brick wall, Midnight asks Horgan if it contains a trick panel. Upon turning around to find out why the portly host isn't answering, Midnight discover that Horgan and Fenley have vanished as well!
Eventually, Midnight locates a release and the hidden panel opens to a passageway. Midnight and company proceed through its darkened corridors until:
This issue's implausibly convenient ending occurs when Hotfoot--distressed at the sight of his master bound hand and foot--charges forward knocking the hooded figure off-balance and enabling Midnight to charge and overpower him.
Convinced that he's narrowed down the killer to either Fenley or Horgan, both Midnight and the reader are a bit surprised to discover:
Wow. Talk about your "Scooby-Doo endings."
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